Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Helpful tips for Destroying the Character of Fall River

I posted this clip about Bob's desire to knock down our historic buildings last month but it is still very relevant

video

I know Bob Correia, Ken Fiola, John Almeida, and everyone at the RDA and FROED are working hard to achieve the ultimate destruction of everything good in Fall River. To help them in their mission, I offer the following suggestions from Art In Ruins:

How to Demolish a National Register Building in 10 Easy Steps:
1.) Acquire a building that was once used for industry, preferably an obsolete one. These buildings have been known to be situated close to water and shipping lanes, so will have great views which you can exploit later.
2.) Don't worry if the building was on the National Register, or protected by the State. Don’t listen to the people who may have great ideas to redevelop the project. You don't want all that hassle and all those “conversations."
3.) Sit on it. For a long time. It would help if it was already derelict when you bought it because the previous owner was losing money as their industry was becoming obsolete.
4.) Let graffiti accumulate. Hipsters will love it, but they don’t vote and so they won’t raise an eyebrow when you eventually take it down.
5.) The neighborhood will soon forget about the activity that went on there and the buildings own “glory days”. It will start to look horrible, and they will start to complain about it.
6.) Keep sitting on it. It would help if you complained about the cost of potential renovations while you did so.
7.) Let security around the perimeter go lax. Teenagers and vagrants will get in, wreck the place, and maybe start a fire or two. If you are lucky, that will take care of it. If not, it becomes a hazard and a public nuisance.
8.) Finally, after years of neglect, declare the place not worth saving, and obtain an Emergency Demolition Permit, which trumps all Historic considerations in favor of Public Safety. The city will go along because the neighbors have been complaining, and since you hold the checkbook, they will be too scared to demand anything more from you.
9.) (Optional) Build a parking lot while you “wait for the market to become ripe”
10.) Build something there that won’t last for as long as the building you just let go to waste, but instead will remain shiny and new for about five. Sell it off once you’ve made your money, and let them worry about the upkeep.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

YOU destroy the soul of your city,one lie at time.....

Anonymous said...

With the help of vinyl siding and sliding windows, many of the residents have destroyed the character of this city too.

shamrock said...

I REALLY dislike vinyl siding but there is a difference between that on people's homes and turning historic buildings into low income housing....MORE low income housing.

RadioFree said...

Better than low income housing ... Low income housing for seniors! That's usually the best way to kill the future of the city. Make sure the young educated professionals have no place to live, eat or work in the city!

Anonymous said...

"YOU destroy the soul of your city,one lie at time....."

Can you explain what 'lies' you think are going on here?

ThirdMate said...

It's probably best to define your terms.

If by "soul" you mean "impractical nostalgia, rustic obtuseness, and ignorance of current economic realities," then yeah, call me "Shiva."

Anonymous said...

Answer me this

Who owns the building ?

just anonymous said...

Shamrock,

How dare you release Bob Correia secret governing plan for Fall River!

Jeez! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!

Oy!

Anonymous said...

"Answer me this
Who owns the building ?"

We do. We the people of Fall River own the building.

shamrock said...

Just Anonymous -

I panicked after I put this up when I reread #8.....that may really inspire Bob.

Anonymous said...

If the people of Fall River own the building the the PROFIT belongs to the people of Fall River.

Why are you complaining?

Anonymous said...

Because, the building can be used as a catalyst to make the city more money in the long run. This is a short sighted project. The people involved are not thinking long term, they are just trying to make their developer friends money.

Anonymous said...

There is no "profit" from Peabody when you take into account the burden that low income housing places on us. Furthermore, the "profit" from low income housing pales in comparison to the real profit from viable businesses that could potentially come to Fall River instead.

reality check said...

What matters is not how many extra dollars we can get for a city building. There has to be a viable plan that goes along with the sale, assuring that how it is used will best serve the city. The city chose money over a plan with the former police station, and how did that work out?